"The Way Forward"- Blessed are the merciful...

Last week was full! We had a special treat on Sisterhood Thursday and a fun time with all our campuses at Sisterhood United on Friday night (click here for Pastor Janis' audio of that night)- free mugs for everyone in attendance!

On Thursday Pastor Brynlee spoke on mercy. If you have ever had the opportunity to talk to her, spend time with her for more than a few minutes you know her love for Jesus and her passion for his people runs deep. She's a treasure. Just to hear her talk about God's mercy is encouraging. If you were unable to listen in on Thursday morning, click here to hear the entire message. I walked in doubting the goodness of God, but left a little more sure that his goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. Maybe you're like me and you doubt or maybe you're not and you don't. Regardless, Jesus passes us each other to encourage, to stand, to celebrate. I'm grateful he passed me Brynlee. My favorite thing she said that morning was, "God is the only one righteous to judge, but he sits on the mercy seat." Think on that.

A portrait of Jesus at the Last Supper from
The Jesus Storybook Bible written by Sally
Lloyd-Jones and illustrated by Jago. 

I've been doing a lot of reading this week- reading, meditating, sharing my thoughts with friends, praying, lather/rinse/repeat. One of the things I read (three days in a row) was Luke 24. This recounts Jesus' resurrection, appearance to Mary, walk on the road to Emmaus, appearance to the rest of the disciples, final instructions to believers, and ascension. So, a lot happens here, but I want to focus on the time Jesus spent with two of his disciples on the road to Emmaus.

I've always loved this story, in fact several years ago I painted verse 32, "'Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?,'"and look at it every day. But something new, something I never noticed before was Jesus' care and concern for his friends. The Living Bible says in verse 28 that "Jesus would have gone on." He would have done other things, appeared to more people, ate some dinner- who knows?!- but he wouldn't have stayed except that his friends insisted. I imagine it's because he loved them so much that he stayed. I imagine it's because of his merciful nature that even though he spent time rebuking them on their walk for not believing all the prophets had written about the Messiah in the Scriptures, he stayed. And then something amazing, something really beautiful happened. Jesus blessed the food. He took the bread and broke it. And as he passed it to his friends they immediately recognized him (they hadn't before, read the whole story starting in verse 13 for context). He did an ordinary thing, something he had always done. Is that why they remembered?  Did they remember the Last Supper and all the countless meals they had shared together? Did they remember that day with the loaves and the fish when Jesus broke the bread and offered them to take part in the miracle with him? Jesus took something as ordinary as breaking bread and made it sacred. That can't be overstated. Sacred, beautiful, inspired moments take place around tables, in homes. You are the church wherever you go. You have agency to make disciples wherever you go. Jesus expects it. I love the challenge Luke 6:36 offers, "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."Ask Him to shape your character today, to make you more like him. Ask Him to show you what he's up to in you and the world at large today. Take part in the great treasure hunt. Call the treasure out of each other and pursue mercy so you will be shown mercy.

***For further reading on mercy read the parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15. I love the image of the father running to his son while the boy is still a long way off. He can't wait to scoop him up and embrace him and forgive him and care for him. He can't wait to show him mercy. Be like the Father.

***And, for your listening enjoyment this Amanda Cook song "Mercy" which is another one of my favorites right now.

Share your thoughts and reactions here or with some friends in real life. Engage your faith this week. Engage your Father this week. You'll be surprised with what he has for you.

I love you, girls!

P.S. A few things regarding the Sisterhood blog:
Last year I piloted the blog. I tried a format which was largely summary of messages and a short reflection following. I thought I might go back to that format after my last post, but I probably won't do much outlining this go around. If you'd like to listen to the messages again and fill in the missing pieces in your notes, please use the link provided for the podcast in each post. Going forward I would like the blog to be a place where you and I engage our faith, ask hard questions, pray for one another, seek our Father. I would like it to be an avenue of community. Honestly, I enjoy these things infinitely more than summarizing.

The Way Forward (weeks 1-3)

Hi friends!

It's 2016 and Sisterhood is back! Pastor Janis has been preaching from the Beatitudes in Matthew 5. If you've been able to attend at all, you know it's been beautiful and challenging and wonderful and difficult. The premise is the Beatitudes are "The Way Forward," they're the truths that shape our lives and show us how to embrace kingdom living. This way, though, is about being vulnerable. It's about surrender. It's about trust. This way is nothing less than taking up the cross.

At the end of her second message in this series, Pastor Janis said something profound, something that keeps resonating in my spirit: "There must be an emptying before there is a filling." I think these words matter so much to me because God is asking me to empty myself. It's been a confusing couple of weeks. I've experienced loss and purposelessness and loneliness. In the middle of all these things I've felt far from God and so I started doing the only thing I knew to do- cut back distractions, turn off the noise so I can try to hear my Father. Things like social media and games and comparison and approval of man and mindless pursuits pile up like thick underbrush in the jungle. But I'm on a journey and God is leading and He has a destination in mind. I have to have machete in hand to cut back everything that gets in the way. Often times this means fighting back myself, my flesh. Pastor Janis reminded us that navigating life is about overcoming ourselves. It's amazing how removing distractions, opening His Word, and asking God to speak is all the invitation He needs to move in and move things around.

Just yesterday I was reading Philippians 2, studying up for my connect group, and I encountered what felt like one million verses on Christ's selflessness and obedience. I quickly pulled up a few tabs on why obedience is important to God. You know, I thought I'd do some research. And then I realized I was pressed for time so I prayed and asked God to show me why he cares so much about obedience (namely because one of friends told me I could ask God how to accelerate this wilderness time through obedience). Not really expecting to hear anything right away, I resumed my house cleaning and isn't it just like God to bring things to your mind while you're doing something mundane like vacuuming? I kept thinking about those verses I had read, about what it would take for me to really be like Christ. God asked me why I expect my daughter to obey me. I thought about how it's important for Em to obey because I want to protect her, if she doesn't listen to me or do as I say she might get hurt. Obedience is a sign of trust; I want Em to trust that I love her enough to take the best care of her. I want obedience to be a thing she wants to do and not a chore. I want my daughter to obey me so things will go well for her in her life. How much more does God want those things for me?! How much more does he love me, care for me, protect me, help me so things go well for me? How much more? I'm grateful for the time He took to explain that to me. I'm grateful that God is personal. While research is good, nothing beats going straight to your Dad seeking answers and help and safety. Nothing beats that. This study of the Beatitudes will challenge us and take us to new depths in God if we empty ourselves and allow God to fill us with himself alone.

In traditional Leah-fashion I have a few links to share with you.

1. I've had a song rolling around in my head, challenging me nearly every day for the last few weeks- What a Saviour. It's honestly just one line in the whole song that keeps getting me. "If this life holds nothing but my Saviour, I will praise you always." Really? Will I really praise Him if all I ever get out of this life is Jesus? If none of the dreams I dream ever come to fruition, if I never get to try anything new, if the only roles I ever fill are wife/mom/friend, will I still praise Jesus? Will I love him and pursue him for his intrinsic value, or am I only after relationship with God for what I can get out of it? I'd like to think not. I'd like to think I'm better than that- better at love, better at relationships, better at doing what's right, better at letting go and giving things up, but I'm not. Will you continue to praise Jesus if he's the only thing your life has in store?

2. On a lighter note, here's the link to Week 3 of "The Way Forward." I'll try to update these as quickly as they are made available on the website.

3. FINALLY (I saved something really awesome for last!), our first Sisterhood United event of 2016 is this Friday night, February 19th at 7 pm! Check out our Facebook page for more event information and click this link if you'd like to preregister for the event (it's essentially a fast pass for the night of and you'll receive a confirmation e-mail and everything!).

I love you girls so much. I'm looking forward to hugging as many of you as possible on Thursday at Sisterhood and at least one hundred more of you on Friday night for our United event.

Love,
Leah

Week 7- "Tug of War"

It's a new week! And I'm excited to be here! The weather is amazing today, by the way. Have you stepped outside and tried to hug the sun? Brielle and I did that this morning. If you haven't yet, take a minute to walk outside. Smell our Florida-fall air, smile at the sun, and feel the breeze on your face. Our God is good. When we accept his gifts and name them, we allow his grace to heal our hearts. I know I could always use more healing.

Last Thursday Pastor Janis talked to us about remaining teachable (if you're following us on Twitter or Instagram I've been hashtagging like crazy- #vlcsisterhood #stayteachable). She opened with this quote from Paul W. Powell, "God is more concerned about our character than our comfort. His goal is not to pamper us physically, but to perfect us spiritually." As uncomfortable as it is to hear, we need to accept correction from our Father. We have to be willing to stick around and listen to Jesus even if his words cross our wills. Proverbs 4:13 in the NIV tells us to "hold on to instruction, do not let it go; guard it well, for it is your life." Really? Instruction is my life? Why couldn't the Bible say "joy is my life" or "freedom is my life" or "comfort is my life"?! Instruction, correction, rebuke- call it what you want. It hurts, but God's rebuke is gentle. When I'm busy in the kitchen like Martha, it sounds harsh and hurtful but when I'm in the living room like Mary, it sounds like life for my soul. On the other side of accepting God's correction there is renewal, refreshing, empowerment, and freedom. We know what the other side looks like because we see the change Martha undergoes in John 11:17-29 (MSG): 

"When Jesus finally got there, he found Lazarus already four days dead. Bethany was near Jerusalem, only a couple of miles away, and many of the Jews were visiting Martha and Mary, sympathizing with them over their brother. Martha heard Jesus was coming and went out to meet him. Mary remained in the house. 

Martha said, 'Master, if you'd been here, my brother wouldn't have died. Even now, I know that whatever you ask God he will give you.' 

Jesus said, 'Your brother will be raised up.' 

Martha replied, 'I know that he will be raised up in the resurrection at the end of time.' 

'You don't have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life. The one who believes in me, even though he or she dies, will live. And everyone who lives believing in me does not ultimately die at all. Do you believe this?'

'Yes, Master. All along I have believed that you are the Messiah, the Son of God who comes into the world.'

After saying this, she went to her sister Mary and whispered in her ear, 'The teacher is here and is asking for you.' 

The moment she heard that, she jumped up and ran out to him."

Mary's response to Jesus is different here; she regards Jesus with tender vulnerability. She confesses her faith in him- a shift from looking at herself and to herself to gain His approval. She now operates out of an understanding of her intrinsic value because she belongs to God. Instead of shooing Mary away from Jesus' feet, Martha now points her to him.

In order for this same shift to take place in our own lives we must commit to three things (at least):

1. Be willing to listen to Jesus.

2. Be willing to act on what we hear.

3. Be willing to receive rebuke when we live according to our misunderstandings of God and his character. 

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it," (Hebrews 12:11, NIV).

God is increasing our capacity for him. God doesn't give his heart in pieces (from "Pieces" by Amanda Cook). He gives us his whole heart. His love is wild for us. It can't be contained. That's why we have to grow, expand. That's why he's increasing our capacity- so we can house MORE of Him!!!! That makes me so excited! It even inspired me to get scripty last week.

Let's go forward boldly, receiving the correction of our Father. If we hear it, it means we're walking closely enough with him to detect his voice. How good it is to be close to our Father.

I'm looking forward to seeing you ladies again on Thursday! Can't wait to hug you!

Love,

Leah

Week 6- "Tug of War"

Hi friends! I hope this post finds you well, but if you're not, that's ok. We're here to do life together- messy, beautiful, wonderful, hard life. I'm in the middle of a very busy season that is not really of my choosing. I'm swamped just trying to maintain necessary life things. On top of that, I stagger under the weight of self-imposed obligations and expectations. I am grateful for my friends who stand with me in prayer and laughter and hugs. I am grateful for how God deals with me gently and helps me lean into his strength. Dan and I were talking the other night about how he's understanding God's grace during this busy time of our life. He said he saw it like a stacked bar graph (see below- you can click the graph to make it larger). We can always operate at 100% but maybe all we have within ourselves is 20%. That's when our faith kicks in and we trust our Father to be the 80% we lack, so His strength can be made perfect in our weakness.

In 2 Corinthians 12:8-9, Paul talks about asking God to make him well and deliver him from a messenger of Satan who had given him a physical condition ("thorn in the flesh"). Here is his conversation with God about it: "Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me," (2 Corinthians 12:8-9, NIV). WHAT?! Boast gladly in my weakness?! Does this sound crazy to anyone else? I want to be well. I want to be whole. I want to be enough. In and of myself. Self-sustaining. But, as with most things, it doesn't work that way in the Kingdom of God. I have to admit my weakness and lean into God's strength so he can display his glory in me. Lately I'm really good at admitting my weaknesses (I guess step one really is awareness), but I'm also really good at sinking in despair, thinking about my inadequacy, crying about how I'm not enough. I stay there, unpack my bags, and forget that I'm supposed to keep looking forward. If I could just look past myself I'd see the eyes of my loving Father, kind and warm. I'd see his arms outstretched, reaching for me. I'd see the scars of the nails and remember he already gave everything for me because he SO loves me (John 3:16). 

You see, Satan loves using our physical exhaustion against us in pursuing intimacy with God. He enjoys when our focus remains on problems, on ourselves, on our weaknesses. Ephesians 6:10-18 reminds us our struggle is not against flesh and blood but against spiritual forces of evil and in order to combat these enemies we must put on the whole armor of God. When unworthiness creeps in, fight it with the Word (Ephesians 2:13-14, NIV). When busyness overwhelms us, fight it with the Word (Psalms 90:12, AMP). When guilt and shame constrain us, fight them with the Word (1 John 1:9, NIV). We have to develop spiritual discipline in order to grow in relationship with God. Relationship has to be nurtured and protected. In John 14:23 Jesus tells us that if we love him and obey His Word then the Father loves us and they will make their home in us. Being with God is a delight not a duty; it's less of a visit and more of a homecoming! Jesus has torn the veil so we can remain in him as He remains in us (John 15:4-5).

Three things for today:

Commit to time with Jesus.

Commit to pray.

Commit to reading the Word.

But not out of obligation. Pray for God to give you the desire to be in his presence, so you can delight in him. We sing a song, I Will Exalt. Without God's presence there's no meaning, without it we're not living. Not to put too fine a point on it, but wow. Such truth. Click here to listen. There's nothing like his presence. Everything else fades away. He alone is worthy of all praise. 

I love you, ladies. You're a treasure and a joy! I pray today you would delight in the Lord and in this beautiful life he has given us.

Love,

Leah

P.S. Sisterhood is now on Instagram (follow us at vlcsisterhood) and Twitter (follow us at @vlcsisterhood)!

Week 5- "Tug of War"

Good morning, friends! Every time I think of you, I want to chant "SISTERHOOOOOOOOOOOD" like I'm at a pep rally or something. Do you get that pumped when we're together?! Maybe it's just me. Hahaha!

I was out two weeks ago. Em had strep and I couldn't access the podcast in time to blog about it- sorry about that! Last week's message was amazing and I was so happy I was present for it. Pastor Janis opened with this bomb: "Other people need to shoulder their own burdens. We are called to bear one another's burdens BUT we were never asked to do for others what they are unwilling to do for themselves." How many times do we feel overwhelmed and inadequate because we've chosen to carry things that are not meant for us? God gives us new mercy every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23) to do the good works he prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10), but there is less grace to do the things, handle the things not intended for us.

Matthew 23:2-4 in The Living Bible says, "'You would think these Jewish leaders and these Pharisees were Moses, the way they keep making up so many laws! And of course you should obey their every whim! It may be alright to do what they say, but above anything else, don't follow their example. For they don't do what they tell you to do. They load you with impossible demands that they themselves don't even try to keep.'" Sometimes we play both parts, the pharisees and the overloaded people, in our own stories. We place all kinds of unrealistic expectations on ourselves (well, maybe I'm the only one who does that), we assume responsibility for all kinds of people and things that God did not give to us, and then we expect to handle it all with grace and ease. No wonder we're exasperated, crying out to God for help and asking him where he is in the middle of all this. What will we do when we learn we've missed the best God has for us? Will we humble ourselves and throw off the burden of over-service? It is so important to learn the difference between work and worship. In my own life, this is the lesson- over and over again for at least six months. Be over do, worship over work, rest over performance- every time. 

Remember how in Luke 10:41-42 (TLB) Jesus says to Martha (and calls her name a couple times), "'Martha, Martha, you are so upset over all these details! There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it- and I won't take it away from her!'"? That one thing is worshipping God- sitting at Jesus' feet, learning him, resting in him. The better part? A heart centered on him alone. Easier said than done, right? Selwyn Hughes said, "Life works better when we know how to glance at things but gaze at God." I need daily solitude in order to focus on Jesus. Otherwise I run hot & cold in my relationship with God. But that's not what he wants. It takes time and a desire of my will to actively make room for the better part. I'm making Psalm 27:4-5 (TLB) my prayer: "The one thing I want from God, the thing I seek most of all, is the privilege of meditating in his Temple, living in his presence every day of my life, delighting in his incomparable perfections and glory. There I'll be when troubles come. He will hide me. He will set me on a high rock out of reach of all my enemies." Did you catch that last part? He will hide me. He will set me on a high rock. Amen! I want to spend every moment in his presence, delighting in him, so that the spirit realm (the true reality) becomes more clear to me than my temporal surroundings. When I gaze at Jesus I feel safe and secure and I know he's taking care of me. Just like when Peter stepped out and walked on the water (Matthew 14:22-33)- he felt safe and God preformed a miracle when his eyes were fixed on Jesus, trusting in him, but as soon as he saw the wind he was afraid (no longer trusting) and he began to sink. We must learn to abandon our emotions as a compass and start exercising our will. Don't wait until we feel like it to spend time with God. The better part is always readily, constantly available to us. We can choose to ignore it, but no one can ever take it away from us.

In Ephesians 3:17-19 (TLB), Paul prays for the church; "And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him. May your roots go down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God's children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself." We were made for fullness! First things first! Take care of ourselves and nurture our relationship with God- be filled with God himself! We were created for the fullness of God, but are we ready for that? It requires stretching. It requires time in the dark room of life. Christine Caine uses the metaphor of developing film to describe our journey with God on earth. She says he gives us a glimpse of our destiny, a taste, so we can know who we really are, who he already chose for us to be. Then he takes us into the dark room where we undergo a series of processes over time in which he forges his image on us. The gift that is on us will destroy us if His light has not yet developed within us to sustain it. All of life is the process of undoing. And the promised land is in the process- not at the end. Would we prefer a God we can manage? That one burns... Know that we are as intimate with God as we want to be.

Thankfully, we're not left to our own devices to figure out how to be closer to and develop better relationship with our good, but also invisible Father. Pastor Janis gave three keys to guide us:

1. Consistency- consistency does not mean perfection

2. Creativity- there's more than one way be close to God

3. Conversation- talk to God, allow time and space to hear back from him

When we practice these things we will know where to go to be filled, where to go to be centered. Sit at the feet of our Father. He stabilizes us. He is our steady balance.

Be encouraged- we can make it! If we're feeling crushed, stretched in the dark room (NOT due to unnecessary weights we've added to our lives), we're doing something right. God will guide us through and we'll be closer to him as we trust him and worship him through the hard times. He's making us more like him. That part hurts. "But if we are to share in his glory, we must also share in his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later," (Romans 8:17-18).

My friend Demene is back this week with more nuggets including the amazing quote featured in this post- she's inspirational!

Technology has allowed us so many ways to connect with God.  As we work to unpack the sand and rocks and pebbles from our lives and put God 1st, I am amazed at the many opportunities we have to share our day with him.  


I recently shared with a young lady that I subscribe to faith building sites on Facebook.  I told her it is wonderful when I open my page and I am fed with positive tidbits of God's grace and love. With a touch of a button I am able to lift my husband in prayer, lift up my family and even get connected to like-minded saints.  I can explore this same creativity through music and game apps.  A few things that have helped me to be consistent include the fellowship of Sisterhood, my journal time and my worship as I drive from home to Ocala.  These are some of the best moments in my week.  In Sisterhood I am welcomed into a room where ladies lift me up and the walls of stress come down.  In my journal I write "Dear Lord," and when I do I find I can't complain and he often meets me where I lay pen.  Don't get me started on that worship time in the car! Ladies, it's a full-fledged concert starring me performing for an audience of one. Yeah, I am committed to this exercise.  It's the best thing going and it's not a phase, it's a lifestyle.

Love you guys so much and I'm excited to celebrate this life and our Father again with you tomorrow!

Love,
Leah

Week 3- "Tug of War"

Hi, friends! I had every intention of posting this yesterday, but the day kind of spiraled out of control. Em had a fever. She needed an appointment with her pediatrician. Habitat called. Aunt Maria called. Made reservations. Canceled reservations. Rested. Caught up with Dan. Didn't rest. Em was up at 3:30 this morning- no more fever (yay!), but completely awake (noooooooo!). I'm exhausted but God is still good. He takes really good care of me. I'm leaning into that today. I need to.

Last week Pastor Janis talked to us about anxiety, worry, and fear. I know these feelings all too well. It seemed like they would unpack their bags and stay in my life indefinitely. It was a long eight months. In my own journey down the scary, lonely, stigma-ridden path of fear and anxiety, this has been one of my anchoring scriptures: "Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind," (2 Timothy 1:6-7, NKJV). No fear, just power (the same power that raised Jesus from the grave), love (the perfect love that casts out fear), and a sound mind (the transformed, renewed mind of the new creation). Pastor Janis mentioned a couple others that I clung to and still remind myself of (by "remind" I mean yell to myself) when I get scared.

"So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free,'" (John 8:31-32, ESV).

"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," (Philippians 4:6-7, ESV).

"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete," (2 Corinthians 10:3-5, ESV).

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever in honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things," (Philippians 4:8, ESV).

And, finally, the one I have to say to myself most often (because the thing I obsessively worry about is my physical health), "'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?,'" (Matthew 6: 25-27, NIV).

The importance of scripture cannot be overstated. It is the truth, the promises from our Father that help us endure. Sometimes anxiety is a spiritual thing, a character building lesson we wander through, but sometimes anxiety is a trauma-induced and/or biological disorder. Whatever the case, I highly recommend therapy. When I finally mustered up enough courage to ask for help, I was relieved. I was almost asleep by the end of my first session. I felt understood, normal (not crazy like I had feared). My therapist prayed with me after my last three sessions because I told her I was convinced my particular brand of anxiety was a spiritual attack. It had no clear trigger and made no sense. At all. We fought back the dark together and she believed for me until I learned how to believe for myself- it's ok, I'm ok.

The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as, "an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness or a rapid heartbeat." I just went, "check, check, check," in my mind; I experienced all those things! I felt like I might be going crazy. That's when I clung to the "sound mind" part of 2 Timothy 1:7 and, with the encouragement of a really good friend, I asked for help.

I'm compiling some resources for you below. I am including links to Pastor Janis' message from last week (http://victoriouslifechurch.com/sisterhood-tug-of-war-week-3/) and Pastor Ed's message on fear that he preached Sunday morning (http://victoriouslifechurch.com/never-once-alone/). I'm also including links to my personal blog on my journey to get better (http://adventuresinhappinessandotherthings.blogspot.com/2015/05/therapy.html) (http://adventuresinhappinessandotherthings.blogspot.com/2015/06/madness.html). If you need someone to talk to, to understand, and to provide you with specialized care please consider seeing a licensed therapist who also loves Jesus. You can reach out to Katherine Thomas whose office is nearby in Lutz (http://www.undoneandunafraid.com/). And when things are really hard here on earth and you yearn for the restoration heaven brings, think about those things and choose to continue to run. Don't quit. "Carry My Soul" by Phil Wickham is a beautiful reminder of both these things (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waQe2Bkpo8c).

I'm praying for you! There is hope! Romans 8:22-25 in the NIV says, "22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Go forward boldly, sisters.

My friend Demene has some thoughts on last week's message that she'd like to share:

We are all familiar with the blasted fire alarm test. Years and years of drills seldom, if ever, having to put it into practice. Today as I sat in Sisterhood jotting down tools to deal with fear and anxiety I thought, "Yeah, not me. I've learned that lesson..." And then tonight happened. As my evening progressed I watched my fears turn from a simple door lock to a declaration of someone being out to get me. These fears compounded as the night wore on. It wasn't until the ride home that I began dealing with the worry that had kept me bound all evening. I pulled out my notes from today's fire drill and I began giving my worry over to the Lord. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. A sound mind. A thousand shall fall.

Yeah, the mind is powerful, but God is more powerful! I began singing it. I put my phone next to my bed, put on my favorite worship playlist and thought, "Thank you for the Word. Thank you for First Lady who had the foresight to share. Tonight I have been tested."

If you have anything you'd like to share in response to Pastor Janis' message, please tell us about it in the comments. We love your stories! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow.

Love,
Leah
(and Emma and Cat)

Week 2- "Tug of War"

Good morning! It's early for me. 6:40 to be exact. If I'm honest, I'm not feeling very inspired to write or say or do anything. I went searching for a soundtrack for a lackluster morning where I again wake with not enough sleep and kitten meowing and husband off to work in the dark. I felt sad and I could feel the you'll-never-be-enoughs start creeping in (even after my Bible reading). You know what song came on? Good Good Father. He's a good Father; it's who he is. And I am loved by him; it's who I am. I remembered his enough-ness and looked to his completeness and found myself whole and safe and enough in his arms. Not bad for 6:40.

Today I'd like to give you my version of Pastor Janis' message from last week entitled "The Three Deadly Ds," and, in case you're like me, I'll give them to you up front: distraction, discouragement, doubt. Doubt comes from listening to lies. What's on replay in our minds? I'll tell you what's been reeling in mine lately.
You're weak.
You'll never be enough.
You're too much.
God left you alone.
You'll never have rest.
You'll never know what God has for you.
You'll never have enough time...money...sleep...confidence.
Fear and anxiety are here to stay.
Your body is weak, sick.
You're a crappy mom.
LIES! That's why I crossed them out. That's not my true reality. I read Romans 8 in The Living Bible just a few minutes ago and I felt God's spirit calling to my spirit, reminding me of the truth.

"So there is now no condemnation awaiting those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit- and this power is mine through Christ Jesus- has freed me from the vicious cycle of sin and death. We aren't saved from sin's grasp by knowing the commandments of God, because we can't and don't keep them, but God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours- except that ours are sinful- and destroyed sin's control over us by giving himself as a sacrifice for our sins. So now we can obey God's laws if we follow after the Holy Spirit and no longer obey the old evil nature within us.

"Those who let themselves be controlled by their lower natures live only to please themselves, but those who follow after the Holy Spirit find themselves doing those things that please God. Following after the Holy Spirit leads to life and peace, but following after the old nature leads to death, because the old sinful nature within us is against God. It never did obey God's laws and it never will. That's why those who are still under the control of their old sinful selves, bent on following their old evil desires, can never please God.

"But you are not like that. You are controlled by your new nature if you have the Spirit of God living in you...

"So, dear brothers, you have no obligations whatever to your old sinful nature to do what it begs you to do. For if you keep on following it you are lost and will perish, but if through the power of the Holy Spirit you crush it and its evil deeds, you shall live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God.

"And so we should not be like cringing fearful slaves, but we should behave like God's very own children, adopted into the bosom of his family, and calling to him, 'Father, Father.' For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts, and tells us that we really are God's children. And since we are his children, we will share his treasures- for all God gives to his Son Jesus is now ours too. But if we are to share in his glory, we must also share his suffering.

"Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later," (Romans 8:1-9, 12-18, emphasis added).

Did you catch that part in the beginning about how the power of God's life-giving Spirit is ours and it has freed us from sin and death?! I got so excited. I mope through a lot of my days feeling utterly defeated. Feelings are liars (sometimes). If I listen to them and the lies they tell me then I am being controlled by my old nature (this version refers to it as the "lower" nature- ouch). But if I don't give in to what my sin nature begs of me, if I crush it (love that word choice) then I can follow after the Holy Spirit, and this way of life leads to peace and life (yes!). I want that life. The full life. The peace life. Beyond that, verses 14 and 15 tell me that if I am led by the Spirit of God then I am a child of God and I can call out to him, "Father, Father!" He's my good, good father- and yours too!

In a matter of six hours I went through the process of distraction, discouragement, and doubt. The devil's plan is simple, yet effective.
1. Get my eyes off God and on my circumstances.
2. Make me believe my happiness lies in my surroundings.
3. When I'm successfully discouraged, convince me God doesn't care.
4. Sit back and let doubt do it's work.
It's his textbook play. Every time. And still I get swindled into believing lies. You see there's a gap between our expectations and reality. They never quite match. What will we fill the gap with? Pastor Janis reminded us that we can either fill it with worry, doubt, and fear (lies) or we can fill it with the truth of God's word. His word says we can bring our needs to him any time (Matthew 7:7), he really does care what happens to us (I Peter 5:7), and he loves us enough to discipline us when we have wrong thinking (Revelation 3:19).

I hope you feel encouraged this morning to endure knowing that you are not alone and that this present suffering is nothing compared to the coming glory we will share. Lean into our Father. His Spirit is speaking to our hearts, speaking to the treasure in all of us, reminding us we're his. We are loved! Let's live our lives in the security His freedom and love provide.

Love,
Leah


Here's the link to Pastor Janis' message from last week: http://victoriouslifechurch.com/sisterhood-tug-of-war-week-2/

This song is called "Steady Heart." The lyrics of the chorus say, "Steady heart that keeps on going. Steady love that keeps on hoping. Lead me on." This morning I needed to tell my heart to be steady. Be strong and courageous. Trust God. Endure. "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful... and do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised," (Hebrews 10: 23, 35-36, ESV). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfh_x5rFuWc