Last week Pastor Janis talked to us about anxiety, worry, and fear. I know these feelings all too well. It seemed like they would unpack their bags and stay in my life indefinitely. It was a long eight months. In my own journey down the scary, lonely, stigma-ridden path of fear and anxiety, this has been one of my anchoring scriptures: "Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind," (2 Timothy 1:6-7, NKJV). No fear, just power (the same power that raised Jesus from the grave), love (the perfect love that casts out fear), and a sound mind (the transformed, renewed mind of the new creation). Pastor Janis mentioned a couple others that I clung to and still remind myself of (by "remind" I mean yell to myself) when I get scared.
"So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed in him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free,'" (John 8:31-32, ESV).
"The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made know to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus," (Philippians 4:6-7, ESV).
"For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ, being ready to punish every disobedience, when your obedience is complete," (2 Corinthians 10:3-5, ESV).
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever in honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things," (Philippians 4:8, ESV).
And, finally, the one I have to say to myself most often (because the thing I obsessively worry about is my physical health), "'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?,'" (Matthew 6: 25-27, NIV).
The importance of scripture cannot be overstated. It is the truth, the promises from our Father that help us endure. Sometimes anxiety is a spiritual thing, a character building lesson we wander through, but sometimes anxiety is a trauma-induced and/or biological disorder. Whatever the case, I highly recommend therapy. When I finally mustered up enough courage to ask for help, I was relieved. I was almost asleep by the end of my first session. I felt understood, normal (not crazy like I had feared). My therapist prayed with me after my last three sessions because I told her I was convinced my particular brand of anxiety was a spiritual attack. It had no clear trigger and made no sense. At all. We fought back the dark together and she believed for me until I learned how to believe for myself- it's ok, I'm ok.
The American Psychological Association defines anxiety as, "an emotion characterized by feelings of tension, worried thoughts and physical changes like increased blood pressure. People with anxiety disorders usually have recurring intrusive thoughts or concerns. They may avoid certain situations out of worry. They may also have physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, dizziness or a rapid heartbeat." I just went, "check, check, check," in my mind; I experienced all those things! I felt like I might be going crazy. That's when I clung to the "sound mind" part of 2 Timothy 1:7 and, with the encouragement of a really good friend, I asked for help.
I'm compiling some resources for you below. I am including links to Pastor Janis' message from last week (http://victoriouslifechurch.com/sisterhood-tug-of-war-week-3/) and Pastor Ed's message on fear that he preached Sunday morning (http://victoriouslifechurch.com/never-once-alone/). I'm also including links to my personal blog on my journey to get better (http://adventuresinhappinessandotherthings.blogspot.com/2015/05/therapy.html) (http://adventuresinhappinessandotherthings.blogspot.com/2015/06/madness.html). If you need someone to talk to, to understand, and to provide you with specialized care please consider seeing a licensed therapist who also loves Jesus. You can reach out to Katherine Thomas whose office is nearby in Lutz (http://www.undoneandunafraid.com/). And when things are really hard here on earth and you yearn for the restoration heaven brings, think about those things and choose to continue to run. Don't quit. "Carry My Soul" by Phil Wickham is a beautiful reminder of both these things (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waQe2Bkpo8c).
I'm praying for you! There is hope! Romans 8:22-25 in the NIV says, "22 We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption to sonship, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? 25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Go forward boldly, sisters.
My friend Demene has some thoughts on last week's message that she'd like to share:
We are all familiar with the blasted fire alarm test. Years and years of drills seldom, if ever, having to put it into practice. Today as I sat in Sisterhood jotting down tools to deal with fear and anxiety I thought, "Yeah, not me. I've learned that lesson..." And then tonight happened. As my evening progressed I watched my fears turn from a simple door lock to a declaration of someone being out to get me. These fears compounded as the night wore on. It wasn't until the ride home that I began dealing with the worry that had kept me bound all evening. I pulled out my notes from today's fire drill and I began giving my worry over to the Lord. No weapon formed against me shall prosper. A sound mind. A thousand shall fall.
Yeah, the mind is powerful, but God is more powerful! I began singing it. I put my phone next to my bed, put on my favorite worship playlist and thought, "Thank you for the Word. Thank you for First Lady who had the foresight to share. Tonight I have been tested."
If you have anything you'd like to share in response to Pastor Janis' message, please tell us about it in the comments. We love your stories! Can't wait to see you all tomorrow.
Love,
Leah
(and Emma and Cat)
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